Mastering the Self: Control What You Can, Trust What You Can’t

Nora Amati
Jul 4
3 min read

One of the most profound lessons I’ve drawn from both Islam and Stoicism is the delicate balance between effort and surrender—between taking responsibility for what we can control and letting go of what we cannot.

In Stoic philosophy, Epictetus teaches us that external events are beyond our power. The only thing truly within our control is our response to those events. This means that while we cannot change what happens around us, we can choose how to face it—with calm, wisdom, and resilience.

Islam echoes this wisdom beautifully. The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said, “Tie your camel, then trust in Allah.” This simple but powerful advice means: take the necessary steps, do your part, but ultimately place your trust in God’s plan. It’s an invitation to act with intention, yet remain humble and patient in the face of uncertainty.

For me, this teaching is a life anchor. It reminds me that anxiety often arises from trying to control the uncontrollable—whether it’s the outcome of a project, others’ opinions, or the unpredictable twists of life. Instead, I’m learning to focus my energy on what I can influence: my attitude, my choices, and my effort.

At the same time, trusting Allah—and the natural order as the Stoics understood it—means releasing the illusion of total control. It means accepting that some things are beyond my grasp, and in that acceptance, finding peace.

Mastering the self, then, is not about rigid control or passivity. It’s about disciplined action paired with graceful surrender. It’s a dynamic dance between responsibility and trust, effort and patience.

Islam & Stoicism: Where Revelation Meets Reason

1. Control the Self, Trust in the Greater Plan

Stoicism: "We cannot control external event. We can only control our response". Epictetus.

Islam: "Tie your camel, and trust in Allah", proph. Muhammad (Tirmidhi)

"Nothing will happen to us except what Allah has decreed for us". - Qur`an (9:51)

Both traditions teach:– Master your inner self.– Let go of what you cannot control.– Respond with dignity and intention.The Stoic calls this apatheia (freedom from destructive emotion); Islam calls it sabr (patient perseverance).

2. Reason & Responsibility

Stoicism: "Man is disturbed not by things, but by the views he takes of them" - Marcus Aurelius.

Islam: "Verily, in the remembrance of Allah do hearts find rest" - Qur`an (13:28). "Actions are but by intentions" - Proph. Muhammad (Bukhari & Muslim).

Islam and Stoicism both emphasize:– The power of thought and intention.– Taking ownership of your reactions.– Cultivating inner clarity through reflection (Stoic journaling or Islamic muhasaba – self-accounting).

3. Virtue is the Path

Stoicism: Virtue is the highest good - justice, courage, temperance, wisdom.

Islam: "Indeed, the most noble of you in the sight of Allah is the most righteous of you" - Qur`an (49:13)

For both, true freedom comes from inner discipline and moral clarity. Not material success, not reputation, not emotion—but a heart aligned with truth.